Thoughts in September

sometimes i wonder,

how come the places i love, the things i adore, somehow scare me to an unfamiliar degree?

i used to love how the morning rain falls, 

i used to be comfortable by the gentle breeze at night,

i used to adore how the moonlight shines so bright, how the stars accompany her along the way,

i used to enjoy listening to some songs on the bus whilst contemplating life,

even i used to love to drink my coffee alone, read books at new places, or even chat with some random old people.

somehow, all of the things i love, always remind me of your existence.

and that is what scares me the most, to remember you, it hurts.

and i'm scared,

what if the things i love become the things i avoid?

and, what if i long for you for the rest of my life?

10.51 a.m.

28th of September, on Transjakarta heading to Lebak Bulus.