A Contemplate
i don’t write any poetry these days, word is too slack. i lose hold of it, i am either gripping my fingers too tightly or too loosely. i can either hold everything in my hand or nothing at all, the universe is either gathered or it is terrifyingly dispersed. today is perhaps the thirtieth straight day of unbearable pain and cloudy skies, at least for me. today, as a remark that i miss you so much to the point that i feel physically sick, sometimes it also feels like an overwhelming failure. there were days when i prayed for you instead of myself, there were nights when the pain was unbearable, the time was ticking slowly while the memories burned me out. each day i am still begging God to help me get through these heavy feelings behind, because the scars were too deep, and healing was painful. the reality hits me like a huge wave, smashing my dreams and leaving me struggling to breathe. sometimes i wonder why you did it, made me feel loved and cherished, o...